Final Reflective Essay During Finals week.

Reflection Essay on the Audience Factor


I remember the first day of Textual analysis and how I walked into it not knowing what to expect very well. As the professor went over the things we'd be doing, one thing in particular caught my attention and curiosity. When I heard about writing this blog and having to proofread other people in the class' blogs with the public viewing aspect, it made me a bit nervous. I strongly believe that the fact that this blog was public affected my writing in ways like content, how I posted on other people's blogs, and style as time went on.

The first time I sat down to type one of these blogs, I remember that I was not looking forward to it and hesitant on what to write and how. I believe I sat at my laptop for a good half hour trying to figure out how to write in a way that was "acceptable." To me, there were two main, separate audiences going to read and be judging my blog. The first was, of course, Professor Rouzie. I wanted to write well and in detail to show that I can understand things I read, keeping to the exact criteria given for the assignment. If I strayed at all and added an opinion or something, I felt like I was being to informal and would fail automatically. On the other hand, I was writing to the second audience of the class and I didn't want to seem like some sort of literary snob who has no personality. This also affected my commenting of other people's blogs. Every once in a while, I would find something I didn't agree with or found a poor points inside and I would want to just think to myself that I should tell them everything that was wrong. Usually though, I would end up just saying that it was good and I just saw it in another way. This is nothing new though since I have worried about things like this for years and has been a weakness of mine that has affected both writing and social aspects of my life. A goal of mine is to someday be rid of my constant worry and be free to be how I want to be. Even in something like a blog.

As time went on, I read what others had written in their blogs and saw that there was a lot of character in other people's blogs and that there was a way to really put personality into blogs without going overboard and still getting the point and content across. I finally found a strength of mine in being able to make a point and then also tell how I felt about it as well. This led to my blogs being more personable and easy to read while still informative. The more that time went on, the more I was able to make myself believe that there wasn't someone reading through my blogs and just ripping them to shreds in one way or another and, through this fact, I finally reached the point where my blogs started becoming more consistent in both content and style. I also found that I was able to comment more freely since I was finally able to convince myself that the other students weren't going to take every little comment I leave to heart and hate me forever. By the end, I was very happy to notice that a lot of my child-like fears about this blog had gone away quite a bit leaving me to write freer.

This blog being done across the quarter varied as time went on for me. I started out very strictly on what needed to be done and making them all as long as I could and, by the end, wrote more to the point and with my own style. The blog did actually help me in a way to remember the stories more by forcing me to really connect with them. If I had to give any sort of advice to anyone, I would tell them that the blogs are, in fact, their friend. A blog is a place to write how you feel and that is exactly what should be done in here, no matter what audience they imagine. To imagine someone reading with the main purpose being to make fun of the writing or critique it to death is a silly notion that can only hurt the writing.

Essay on "The Fix" by Percival Everett

In human history, there has no book that has been held in such high regard as the Bible. It tells stories that people live their lives by and strive to embody. Among the many stories though, there has been one in particular that may be the most relatable to the world. The story of Jesus touches many people’s hearts with the aspects of his miracles, sacrifice, death, and resurrection. Countless stories in the world, whether it be told by cinema, voice, or literature have had roots planted in at least the basic premise of Jesus’ tale. Based such things as the characters, point of view of narrator, and plot layout of Percival Everett’s “the Fix”, this story is new age spin on the telling of Jesus’ story.

While reading the story “the Fix,” I noticed many things that stuck out to me as not only great writing, but writing that reminded me of a new-age Bible story and one aspect of plot that showed this was the characters in the story. First of all, the narrator is not the protagonist. Granted, this story is not told from Douglas’ point of view but the narrator is only omniscient of Douglas. This is an odd thing for a book and was used in many books of the New Testament in the Bible. Throughout the stories of the Bible, the narrators tell of following Jesus for whatever reasons with eye witness descriptions of Jesus’ feelings and acts but the readers never get his personal perspective. Coming right out of this, I would like to point out how the author also uses the motivation of all of the characters in the story to parallel the stories of the Bible. Douglas’ character is obviously a parallel to one of Jesus’ disciples since he is motivated to stay with and be loyal to Sherman for reasons even he has trouble understanding at times. He just has faith in the fact that Sherman is a good man and that he isn’t any kind of threat to anyone. This is how many of the disciples found themselves following Jesus as well. Though they witnessed many astonishing miracles at the hands of Jesus that scared some of the smaller characters in the Bible, they stayed with him to learn more about him and show their devotion. All of the other characters in the story (besides Sherman and Douglas) seem to be flat characters who only want Sherman around for his ability to fix things so well. The same can be said in the Bible since, many times, the Bible will in fact just label a character as where they came from or what sickness they have since there is a basic stereotype that people can classify them with when given that information. Their motivation in this story and in the Bible is just to come to Jesus, or Sherman, with some kind of problem that they want him to fix.

The Fix is also able to relate to that of the Bible is the obvious connection that Sherman is Jesus in this story. In the Bible Jesus, like Sherman, just shows up one day and no one knows anything about him. Throughout both of the stories, spectators of the astonishing events question Sherman and Jesus on how he is able to do such things and about things in their past. Yet, in both stories, neither Sherman nor Jesus relinquish too much about themselves. The only things said are the things that leave the person questioning confused and only wondering more. One example of this is when Sherman states, “If you irrigate a desert, you might empty a sea… I am the empty sea.” (143) in regards to how fixing things is a tricky business when Douglas questions why Sherman won’t just fix everything brought to him. A quote like this could be seen as a parable such as one that Jesus would say. For example, there is one parable Jesus tells in which he is represented by a seed and the world is symbolized by a brier of thorns in which the seed of good will be strangled by the thorns as it tries to grow. One can see the great resemblance between the two stories in how Sherman or Jesus try to do something for the world and are destroyed by doing so. Lastly, of course, there is the parallel of their deaths in front of large crowds. This is the only place that, on the surface, their stories differ slightly. In the Bible, Jesus dies on the cross for the world’s sake to save them from their own sins, thusly saving the world. Sherman, on the other hand, steps off the bridge to get away from the mob of people wanting him to fix them. His reasoning would seem much more selfish than Jesus’. Keeping that in mind, it could be said that Sherman still helped the world in that story. When people didn’t know about Sherman, they still managed to live their lives but, once Sherman arrived, everything needed to be fixed and nothing was good enough. By dying that night, Sherman helped the world go back into its original groove in which people had to deal with the world and whatever it gave them.

Another way that this story parallels those of the Bible is the characterization and journey of Douglas, himself. At first he is a simple man who owns a sandwich store and is content with the life he is settling for. In this way, he is like many of the disciples who were just common fishermen who were content until they met Jesus and wanted more from life. As soon as Sherman, or Jesus, is introduced into stories, the narrator’s life always changes in more ways than they could imagine. From this change, as I have said previously, the narrator finds himself following the mysterious man for reasons that are based on their faith. Even when others are saying that there is something dangerous or odd about Sherman, Douglas stands by him and hardly ever second guesses the decision. Towards the end of the story, when Sherman revives the dead woman, Douglas shows the extent of his loyalty by being shocked into fear for only a moment before returning to looking out for Sherman. In this way, Douglas has an epiphany in regards to Sherman that the disciples had with Jesus towards the beginning and middle of the Bible stories. All of them see that this person they have chosen to follow or remain loyal to is someone more powerful and special than any random person. This new way of thinking helps Douglas to try and understand the pressures and pains of Sherman fixing everything that is brought to him. By the end of the story, Douglas understands that Sherman has to die to be able to get out of the trouble he is in and accepts it. The disciples faced a fairly similar situation when Jesus informed him that he would, in fact, die on the cross for their sins. After he is captured and taken, the disciples find it in themselves to let it happen since they know it couldn’t happen any other way.

Another major way I noticed a parallel in the Bible and that of this story was the way in which the tension develops throughout the story by using people gossiping. In the Bible, Jesus goes across the country doing wondrous miracles of curing illness, restoring sight to the blind and even bringing people back from the dead. When he does these fantastic things, it is said that Jesus often told people to not spread the story of what he had done and just to praise God. The people did not listen though and spread the word which eventually helped to lead to his death on the cross. In this story, as well, Sherman makes his way (apparently across the nation) fixing toys, relationships, and people in general. The story mentions Sherman not accepting any sort of payment for his actions, such as on page one hundred and thirty-nine with the man and the razor, and not wanting any sort of news spread. The rising action peaks when Sherman revives the dead woman. Though he pleads for the ambulance driver and Douglas to not tell anyone, the people spread the word. Much like Jesus, the news spreading of what he can do eventually leads to Sherman’s death.

Sherman Olney’s story in “the Fix” by Percival Everett can be seen as a parallel to the story of Jesus Christ in the Bible. The characters, plot, and even events parallel each other in a way that cannot be ignored. Just as Jesus’ story touches many people’s hearts, so too does Sherman’s story of giving to people until he couldn’t bear to give anymore. Such stories will forever be in the world’s society and will always be held in high regard for their greatness.

Thoughts on Essay... besides dread

For the essay assignment, I plan to write about the story called "the Fix" by Percival Everett. I really enjoyed this story while I read it and think that this would be a great story for me to analyze further. Throughout the analysis, I plan to hit on the author's use of Characters, Motivation, and symbolism to not only tell a great story, but put it all together to make the story like a current-day story from the Bible. I say this from how the main character, Sherman, is a very round character of whom the audience knows little about and the other characters, such as Douglas, are drawn to him for either reasons unknown to them or because he can fix things so well. This is very much like Jesus and the followers since some followed him for random reasons while others only came to him to fix their dead brother or illness. The point of view of this story also parallels the bible in the way that the narrator is an observer of everything but not the protagonist, himself. I'd also like to mention the Language of the story and how the author uses it to set the mood of the story but leave the real detail of it to the reader to provoke the imagination. There are a lot of possibilities on how I will go about the writing but I will continue to read the story again and work toward it.

Any sort of advice would be nice as well. Good luck to everyone.

Dead Man Laughing (3-2-09)

“The funniest thing about dying is how much we, the living, ask of the dying; how we beg them to make it easy on us.”

When I read this line in the essay for class, it really sparked a reaction in me. I remembered how I felt with my grandparents going into their deaths and how I actually found myself wishing at times that they would just die to get it over with so I could stop hearing about how they were getting worse or how there was "no helping them at this point" except to make them comfortable. I thin that the author felt this during her father's sickness as well. He was getting worse and worse and she had to watch him get worse and feel the pain that came from that. She also had to keep giving money to the hospital to keep him comfortable and happy. It is almost as if she, like many people dealing with a dying loved one, was thinking "it would be easier for him to just die so I could just start grieving and getting over it." After looking back on it, I think she can see how futile it is to want such a thing and feels that she was lucky to have the time before he died to have her last moments with him. As someone who sort of had the dying "make it easy" by dying unexpectedly, I can also see how it is kind of funny to ask that of the dying. If the death is prolonged we want it to speed up and be over to which we will feel the guilt for even having the thought but, if it happens too fast, we feel the loss and anguish that we didn't get the sufficient time to really say goodbye and make peace with the person.

Basically, there is no winning situation when losing a loved one. To think that there is a way to make it easy is just a morbid joke that the author's father, Harvey, would probably have gotten a chuckle out of.

Homework for Feb 17th

In the readings for this week, I found that I really enjoyed "Greasy Lake" but, after much thought, I decided my favorite was "Milk". I really enjoyed the relationship he had with his wife, Annie and how they were very honest with each other. I was actually a little confused at what he meant towards the beginning when he said "We had grown up together" in describing their relationship. he did list off a bunch of things they had done together but it wasn't said if he meant that, through those things, they had grown up together or if they had literally grown up throughout childhood together. In my opinion of their relationship it seemed like they had only grown up together through the events they had done together. I only say this because, in my experience, people who grow up close to each other have the most trouble being together romantically and they seemed to be completely understanding to each other. The fact that they understood each other greatly was shown throughout the story like when he grabbed her wrist and dragged her around on a rant and all she had to say about it was "Can I have this back?" in regards to her arm. I know that, while I was reading that particular part, I expected her to flip out and try to get away from him and was surprised when that was her only response. On a side-note, I also wanted to add how I loved the way he described his children, Lee and Bobby. Every time he saw them he always seemed to describe them as Angelic and wonderful no matter what they were doing.

My other favorite aspect of this writing was basically the main point of the story: How the milk cartons with the pictures of missing children had really affected him more than even he understood. It depressed him so much that all those children could be missing and had him hoping desperately that the world wasn't as bad as the Milk carton children made it seem. It even got to the point where he couldn't look at people without imagining what their milk carton would say. On a geeky note, I actually connected a bit with that thought since, after being on facebook for so long, sometimes my thoughts will come to me in third person as if it were my status. Just shows how our minds can get used to something that they automatically follow the pattern. The thing that I found very odd in this story was the reaction his mother and wife had to his reasoning for not wanting his kids' fingerprints taken. He said that the fingerprints were only taken to identify bodies which meant that the only reason to get them was so, if Lee or Bobby were taken and killed, they could be identified. When he said this, I know I felt almost hurt and surprised that that realization had never come to me before but his wife and mom just seemed to shrug it off like nothing. I suppose that maybe they had had the conversation enough that it didn't affect them anymore.

homework for Feb 12th

The Story I am going to analyze is "Fiesta" from our list to read for Thursday's class. I was happily surprised to find that I was pulled through that story and was actually able to keep it as a pretty fluid thought instead of broken as my reading usually is. If I had to guess, I would say that this was due, in part, to the language and voice used by the narrator and protagonist, Yunior. There were a couple times where I actually laughed a little bit to myself with the honesty and sarcasm (two things that don't usually go together very well but you get it...) he used while he described things like his relationship with his family. It really made his story believable and able to be connected with by the reader since all families have some level of dysfunction in them. Granted, my dad doesn't constantly beat me or my brother as Yunior's does to him and Rafa. The relationships he mentioned like with the aunt "you have to visit", though, was very true to me. Another thing that made me laugh was how he threw up in the van all the time and the family just knew it would happen and weren't phased by it too much anymore. I laughed only because my family has kind of gotten to that point with me in that I get light headed and usually vomit or pass out if I have to get a shot or blood drawn or anything like that. Like Yunior, I don't understand why it happens exactly and I don't want it to. It just does.

One major thing I didn't like about this story was the lack of quotes when people spoke. Every once in a while, I would read over something someone said and not realize I had just read a quote until someone answered it and I didn't understand. I understand that different people write differently and that isn't a big deal but that bothered me a lot.

As I sat here, wondering how to wrap this up, something came to me that I hadn't thought of prior to this. Though he talked about a lot of his family and their faults, he seemed to keep a main idea that he was a part of the family and he wouldn't turn his back on them. I found this to be a great theme since many people can support it. Most everyone can see a lot of faults in their family and, many times, will "not want to be a part of it" or "wish that someone wasn't in the family" but, when it comes down to it, we all will stand up for our family.

Homework for Feb 3rd

Catastrophe was definitely an odd thing to read as well as see. I actually didn't even see much of a point to either but then, there are a lot of great things in the world that have no point so maybe someone else loves it. Oh well...

In seeing the play after reading, there were only a few differences that I really picked up on. One, of course was the difference between a cigar and a flashlight. Those are very different things and it almost seems silly to switch them out. Though, I do kind of like the idea of the flashlight better since it makes the director much more believable. I have never met or heard of a director who has an assistant to light his ever-extinguishing cigar and theatres are definitely dark a lot of times so it makes more sense to me. There were a couple of other slight changes but all and all, I think the two were pretty much the same. It has been shown over countless movies made out of books that it is very difficult to convey what the book makes the reader think of and the readers are usually let down. I think that also happened for this since my imagination showed a different scene than the movie but that's life.

homework for the 22nd

While reading through the assigned readings, I found that I didn't really connect with any of them besides the songs. Even in the songs, I found that I mainly liked "the River". I liked how he made himself really embody the person that he was as the speaker. I think it was pretty clear what he was discussing throughout the song but, due to the assignment, I will give the interpretation I thought of for the song.
It starts out with the background where he meets Mary at seventeen years old. When he gets to the part about he and Mary jumping into the river, it definitely could be a straight-forward thing. Yet, if you look at it in a symbolic sense, the river could also be life in general. He and Mary got together and dove right into life by having sex. By doing this, they get swept up in the river of life and have to get married to make themselves, or their parents, feel better about the pregnancy. The wedding was so spur of the moment that it was done at a courthouse and may have even been an eloping between the two. No one came and there were no decorations. Again, the author makes reference to diving into the river and going for a ride on it which again shows the river of life symbol. To support the baby and his new wife, the speaker tries to get a job which is very difficult to do due to the flood that the book mentions as a historical flood in the area the song takes place in. Things that the speaker found important like maybe school, how cool he was, and other things are now unimportant on this "ride down the river" due to his new wife and child. At the very end of the poem, the speaker remembers how things used to be and admits to how much he misses them when he says the memories haunt him. The river of life that he once found so fun has dried up and he isn't going anywhere. The last line seems like he is reflecting on how much fun life used to be and how he and Mary would "ride the river" all the time but now, life is dry of its adventure, fun, and excitement. A very sad story if I do say so myself.

homework for Jan 15th

After reading the poems for this week, I thought the one I connected with the most was "A Call" by Seamus Heaney. In A Call, I saw the speaker as maybe just the author recounting an event to the audience, who could be an interviewer of some sort, about a call he made to someone. In my interpretation, I saw this as a call to his parents when he was maybe college aged or beyond. I may have made this interpretation because, of course, I am in college and can relate to calling home only to have my mom tell me how dad is outside and having to go fetch him to talk. I felt like the author's tone was a little torn though since he mentions the nice day and the calmness of the wait as the woman goes to get the man but also there are references to death and the "grave ticking" of the clocks. It made me wonder, though, why the author would go from visualizing this man being happy to be gardening while sad nonetheless to thinking of death due to clock ticking. I liked that the author made this poem have no rhyming scheme. I feel that, if he had made it rhyme, some of the great visuals he gives us would've lost some of their vividness.

The other poem I enjoyed was "God's Grandeur" by Gerard Manley Hopkins. I missed the fact at first but, after looking back, I noticed that this was an Italian style of Sonnet due to the 8 lines being grouped together with the rhyme scheme of abbaabba. For a lot of the poem, you could see a definite religious background in the speaker whether they were the author or not. He talked very literally about how God made the earth so wonderful and yet mankind has made it less awesome in the way that we use it. There really seemed to be disgust that many people have moved away from God to deal with their own lives. Apparently even when the world needs help, mankind won't go back to God. I interpretted that when I paraphrased line 4: "Why do men then now not reck his rod?" Now, I know the book says that this is in reference to God's punishment but I couldn't help but think of the Psalm that discusses God leading us and the rod and staff comforting us. Due to this, I saw the line more as "Why won't the world remember God?" That, of course, could be completely wrong. I still like the thought that I got from the poem where even though man turns his back on God to focus on his own life, God is still there replenishing the earth's awesomeness and waiting for mankind to come back to religion.

Welcome

Welcome to my English 250 blog. I hope you enjoy reading. I'm sure it'll be super exciting.